How did I get to study the Sutra on Longevity -- By Ling Xi

April 15, 2008

I took a long sick leave after I fell ill. When at home, I would browse the internet from time to time. (There is no cable TV connection in my home. I cut it off after my child was born. I know how harmful TV can be to children. It has been seven years now and my child does not like watching TV either). I liked talking on line to people who were also sick like me. I then launched my Sina blog, and joined a Cancer Patient Forum. Some of them were Buddhist believers. Perhaps it was all predestined. I just accepted and believed what they told me. I then got linked to many Buddhist websites through Baidu.com. When alone at home, I would read the Great Dharani, the Sutra of Heart, the Diamond Sutra, etc. I also started reading the Shurangama Mantra. It was too long for me, so I later chose to listen to it—I did it whenever I went online. Gradually, I went vegetarian before I knew it. That was just how amazing it was! I am still very proud of the choice to stay vegetarian.

I also applied for an OICQ account. Someone suggested to me that I visit the website of Shanxixiaoyuan (http://www.shxxy.cn/.) I am really grateful to this friend. I read through the website and started to read The Sutra of Bodhisattva Ksitigarbha's Fundamental Vows. I also enjoyed listening to lectures by Master Chin Kung. The more I read it, the more I enjoyed it, and the more I came to feel guilty for the sins I had committed.

Nevertheless, my condition continued to worsen. I received chemo-therapy every year, and it simply got worse and worse. I had had chemo-therapy for ten times in three years and the more I had it, the more despaired I felt. The torturing pain from receiving chemo-therapy got more and more unbearable for me. Worse, I felt hopeless about future. Often I just wanted to die. I even prayed to Buddha: can you just end my life now and take me to your world. Nevertheless, no matter how sick I was, I never lost faith in Buddha. I know I could only have been worse without learning Buddhism.

I keep visiting http://www.shxxy.cn/, reading The Sutra of Bodhisattva Ksitigarbha's Fundamental Vows, and praying to Buddha (more than ever). Later I reached the website of Lion http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/manjulion. She is from Hong Kong, also a Buddhist practitioner, and can see many things that ordinary people don’t. She practices Buddhism from a great master, and is followed by a big-eyed rooster with superpower to protect her. I asked her of many questions, and she always answered me patiently. She asked me to keep reading The Sutra of Bodhisattva Ksitigarbha's Fundamental Vows, and keep praying to Buddha. She also told me it was important to do “life liberation”, and do it everyday, regardless of the number. When I get the time, I also read the Mantra of the Great Peahen King. By the way, I did do “life liberation” everyday, and it certainly felt good.


At that time I didn’t want to receive chemo-therapy anymore because it was not effective on me. I wanted to go to practice Buddhist meditation very much. It was only upon the advice of Lion that I went back to the hospital for another round of chemo-therapy while still kept doing “life liberation” at the same time.

I felt much better from this round. My face got swollen only on the 8th day. In previous treatments, my face went swollen on the third day. The doctors had no idea of what to do about it and just asked me to believe in miracle. (My goodness, what the doctors were saying was driving me crazy!). I felt very bad, because my family didn’t believe in Buddhism, and simply kept urging me to receive more chemo-therapy.

By them, I was reading mostly the articles published at http://www.shxxy.cn/, http://www.xuanhuafb.com/, http://www.bskk.com/, and the videos with lectures by Master Chin-Kung. I also often visited the blog of Lion(http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/manjulion), and Firing Red Lotus (http://blog.sina.com.cn/xuzuzhi), etc. They are also Buddhist practitioners, and from their articles I can tell they are people of great integrity.

I was surfing the Internet as usual when I found the website of Master Zhen Lin (http://blog.sina.com.cn/lz271009127). I learnt from the blog articles that there are lectures on Buddhist Sutra at a Sina UC forum. I applied for a UC account and joined.

I couldn’t quit once I was in the room. Master Zhen Lin is just great! Every word he said was like exactly prepared for me. There are lectures from 8 am to midnight, sometimes live broadcast by Master Zhen Lin, others recorded videos.

I was too shy to say or ask anything at the beginning. I just kept listening. The administrators of the Forum would greet me first. They were really nice people. Gradually I got bolder. Sister Ling Zhi kept encouraging me to talk. I then told her my situation. I didn’t have the courage to tell Master Zhen Lin for fear that he might be too busy. Still, encouraged by Sister Ling Zhi, I talked to Master.

Master Zhen Lin is really nice and totally different from what I had thought. When he started talking to me (by typing), I felt numb all over, especially my head. It was quite amazing. Master talked to me very patiently. The more I listened, the more touched I was. I was reminded of all the torture I had suffered from all these years and I could not help crying before the computer.

I went to look for Master the second day again. I told him of how I felt after listening to his lectures. All the brothers and sisters showed great care to me, and kept encouraging me. I felt as warm as being at home.

After listening to Master Zhen Lin’s lectures for a few days and talked to him several times, and having talked to my dear brothers and sisters, I developed a strong wish: I want to be a disciple of Master Zhen Lin.

Finally, I mustered up courage, and told Master Zhen Lin of my wish. Master asked: “Are you serious? Do you really want to be a Buddhist practitioner, and be my disciple?”

“Yes!”, I answered firmly.

Master Zhen Lin accepted me as his disciple, and told me of why I got sick. He asked me to read the Sutra on Longevity, and told me that it can help me recover fully.

I have now started reading the Sutra. Most of the time I listen to the lectures by Master at Sina UC and read it.

Now my face is no longer swollen, and I am feeling better and better day by day. I am so happy!